Ember's Writing

thank you for existing thank you for being in my life. thank you for the gifts that you bring to me. in this moment, i want to share that when i think of you... it is easy to connect to a sense that I am filled with love. it brims out of every pore of my being and that love is like sunshine emanating from my soul and there are no shadows mid day on the longest day always thank you

and sometimes too frequently perhaps for my taste the gifts that you bring are painful i am ashamed to say that your gifts challenge me sometimes beyond what i can hold alone and sometimes i forget that these are gifts and invitations to grow and i am consumed with pain and my head gets lost in a labyrinth of right doing and wrong doing blaming you or me for the painful feelings when i am unable to see the exit to the field where i want to be where i perceive you only and always frolicking in the bucolic joy of that field

and right then i have a sense of being alone and lost too small to matter too broken to mend too fallible to solve the maze and too ashamed to be naked before you with my shadow self my child self my small self cloaked in darkness as snarling Minotaur hiding

because i want to be sunshine and rainbows in your heart too. i want you to think of me as i think of you always.

thank you for the gifts you bring to me even when they are painful and challenging. thank you for existing and being in my life. i want more.